疊字禁止
"昨天
下班的時候
傳聞樂透上看五億七
下班就順路走去買幾張
正當我聚精會神
想要感應數字的時候
忽然間聽到一對年輕男女在對話
'老公，要不要買樂透'
'好阿，中了買摩托車車給你'
'摩托車車ㄟ,真好 CCC'
靠盃
這什麼對話阿？真肉麻
我撇眼一看
似乎是附近的高中生
買完去隔壁吃牛肉麵
結果那對男女也走了近來
就坐在我的隔壁桌
距離大概只有30公分
頓時我有不好的預感
感覺這餐會吃的很反胃
店家裡大概三四個年輕人
我對面
則是坐一個頭髮抓的像塞亞人得粗框眼鏡潮男
坐下來後
疊字情侶開始對話：
'老婆，你要吃飯飯，還是麵麵？'
'人家要牛肉麵麵,我還要加辣辣喔(嘟嘴)'
我跟對面的潮男互看一眼
我可以感覺到我們內心的OS應該是一樣的:
(幹,麵麵你媽個頭)
疊字 情侶點完餐後
女生整個依偎在男生身上
'老公，你今天上課有沒想我'
'當然，我整天上課都馬在想你,嘿嘿'
'討厭啦 (打鬧狀)'
然後，男生的手就不停的在女生的肩膀，腰和腿摸來摸去
只能說
那一瞬間
我有要失明的感覺
---------五分鐘後----------
麵來了
'老婆,來,嘴嘴開開,快'
'阿 (張嘴樣) 你這個好大喔 我吃不進去，燙燙啦'
我跟潮男再度無奈的互看一眼
(幹你老師勒，這是A片台詞嗎?)
就這樣
兩個人又繼續淫聲浪語
我覺得整間店5'6個客人加上老闆都已經快受不了她們了
吃了一段時間
疊字男起身跟老闆說要加麵
沒有麵的空檔
這對敬業的情侶
當然還是繼續上演Ａ片
一分鐘後
老闆把剛疊字情侶的麵端過來了
這時候
我對面的潮男也站了起來
把碗遞給老闆
故意很大聲得說:
'老闆 我也要加麵麵，不要辣辣喔'
幹，頓時整間店都笑了出來
我嘴裡湯也幾乎要噴了出來
笑死我的毛阿
之後 這對男女就安靜下來了
安分的吃完他們的麵
good job!敬這位塞亞粗框潮男
你真是太帥帥了!"
popcorn balls
One of the nice things about blogs are the amazing tutorials and recipes that people share. One of the crappy things about having a blog is listening to the tutorial writer in your head narrating all the steps while you make something. Of course this only happens when my two toddlers aren’t screaming or banging or just being as loud as they can be for no reason, but when there is quiet that little voice in my head starts writing an informative and witty tutorial for whatever it is I might be doing at the time. So that’s why, out of the blue, I’m going to tell you how to make popcorn balls.
First make popcorn. Normally I hate popcorn, but it is quite a spectacle for the smaller set and we were stuck inside because of the rain. We had it with tomato soup for lunch and there was a bunch leftover (how do you make just a little popcorn?). The recipe–Betty Crocker–says you should have 7 cups of popcorn to make popcorn balls–I think I had more, it just a big bowl full really. Be sure to pick all the unpopped kernels out or you will break a tooth on one. This is a good thing for kids to do while you deal with the blistering hot candy syrup.
Now put
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup water
1/3 cup corn syrup
1 tsp salt
and
1/4 cup butter
in a sauce pan. If you have a candy thermometer put it in the pan, if not have a small bowl full of ice water next to the stove. Cook the delicious butter and sugar mixture until it hits 250 degrees. This is hard ball stage and the syrup will form a hard ball (duh) when you drop it into the ice water. I broke my candy thermometer, so I had to use the ice water method and I just kept checking throughout. It will color a little when it’s done and the ball shouldn’t be rock hard, but should give a little under pressure.
When it’s done, take it off the heat right away and add
1 tsp vanilla and
a couple drops of food color if you feel like it
It’s better to have these ready before you start so you don’t forget. Now pour the syrup all over the popcorn stirring quickly. It’s nice to have another person help at this point, but you can manage by yourself just fine. Let it cool a minute or two and make balls. If it’s sticky you can butter your hands a bit and then shape them. Voila! popcorn balls. I always remember these to be a halloween treat. I also remember them being enormous, but I made little ones for little hands. Remember to brush the little teeth when your done!
